The Me-Time Mixtape: Three essential hand-curated links and resources on creative self-care. Carve out some me time this week!
In today's episode, I'm sharing some revelations about handling grief's shapeshifting ways. I call grief a shapeshifter because it comes in and out of my life, bringing its different emotions (anger, sadness, fear, even gratitude). Almost four years into my mom's slow and painful health decline, I'm making peace with the presence of grief (at least sometimes). This episode reveals my noticings about grief – I think it's a strong and positive exploration of how grief lives in my life right now.
I'm not offering a primer on handling grief, but some companionship and connection for those of you going through similar situations. I hope this episode brings you some comfort.
#1 A Grounding Framework (with a touch of Aloha)
I'm entering a season of my life when I need to feel grounded in the decisions, people, and places I choose to commit to and explore. Grounding is more than finding a calm mental space; it's about feeling safe and connected in your body, reducing fight or flight physical responses, and creating space between whatever life is throwing at you and your response to those experiences.
Perhaps like me, some days you need to ground yourself in order to find some equilibrium in your life. This R.O.O.T.S framework from the Ku Project reminds me to trust my instincts and pull in the present moment's sensory experiences so I won't feel lost or off center.
#2 How Grief Changes the Brain
Turns out there's more to our changing experiences with grief than the popularized Kubler-Ross five stages would suggest. This article explores the "fog of grief," those changes that we feel in our mental state, especially our ability (or inability) to handle seemingly simple mental tasks, when we are grieving. There's some comfort in reading about grief as a universal human experience that our brains are evolved to manage. I'm counting on that...
#3 Reframing the Empty-Nester Journey
In this episode of Mel Robbins' podcast, she's recasting the term empty-nester to "bird launcher," and I like it. This positive take on reframing empty nesting came just in time for my daughter's college graduation in a few weeks. How four years went by that fast is beyond my comprehension! But here I am.
I've got plenty of projects to launch, but Mel reminds us this transition may feel like we are trying to shovel two feet of snow with a spoon. We don't yet have the pathways – mentally, physically, or emotionally – to handle the loneliness and loss we can feel in an "empty" home, and her holistic approach to coping makes so much sense.
This life transition isn't just an emotional journey, it's a body/mind journey that involves reworking mental pathways. This new pathway centers around a startling question: How will we live when faced with the major life transition of having our children move out of the house?
Latest Podcast Episode
Episode #54: Making Peace with Grief (the Shapeshifter)
BONUS: Check Out My Free Creative Guide to Reduce Overthinking & Worry
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