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🎧 Episode #64 Let People Know You Love Them — Lessons My Mama Taught Me (Part 1)
Welcome back to Let the Verse Flow and the start of Season 4. For the next 10 episodes, I’ll be sharing some sage advice from my sweet mom. Since her passing last year, I’ve done a lot of thinking about the way she impacted the world, and I’ve decided to share some of her wisdom with all of you through a 10-part series that I’m calling What My Mama Taught Me: 10 Life Lessons on Compassion, Creativity, and Courage. Over the next 10 episodes, I’ll discuss one piece of wisdom she taught me, share stories that reflect its importance and impact, and offer my thoughts on how I believe the lesson can improve our lives.
Today’s episode starts with the most essential life lesson: tell people you love them. It’s simple in theory, but it can get complicated. Overwhelmingly, the two greatest allies to me as I grieve my mom’s passing have been time (almost five years of her transition through Alzheimer’s and my caregiving for her) and the knowledge that she always knew I loved her (and I knew she loved me). I was one of the lucky ones who got time to say a long, slow goodbye, and I made sure she knew at every stage of her life that I loved her. Saying the words, “I love you,” is a simple but powerful practice that can transform your relationships with others and with yourself.
Check out episode #64 and let people know you love them – that's my mom's first lesson.
💭Key Takeaways from this Episode:
- How caregiving for a loved one can feel like a form of prayer and lessen the caregiver’s burden. It is also a way to show love and appreciation for another person. My thanks to writer Jason Reynolds for connecting the dots on this idea in such a beautiful way. Check out his NPR interview excerpt (see link below).
- How surrounding yourself with like-minded people can help you cultivate a loving community, especially when family ties are strained.
- Expressing your love before someone dies can be a great source of comfort to you when they are gone, or a comfort to them when you are gone. The time to love and be open about that love is now. Don’t wait, don’t let pride, fear, or contention stop you from vocalizing or showing your love.
- Letting go of hurt or bad feelings takes time, but forgiveness can be a way of saying “I love you” without having to do so face-to-face. It helps you resolve hurt feelings and open up to the possibility of acceptance.
- When verbalizing “I love you” doesn’t feel right, or you want to show your love in different ways, consider writing letters or notes to someone. In this age of busyness and fast pace, short interactions, a thoughtful card or note really stand out.
"I Love You" Was Said
By Jill Hodge
“I love you” was said when I walked past the ferns
Sitting on the window ledge, and all around
I brushed them, my hips aside, I move
It’s me that turns, it’s me that turns
“I love you” was said at Christmas time
Oh, a tree of plenty for a little girl who had it all
The wrapping paper tears, a trail of ribbon
A most welcome advent
“I love you” was said when hard decisions had to be made
Would I go or stay, move forward or back
Frozen for a moment, afraid
But you were by my side until I could walk on my own
You stayed, you stayed
“I love you” was said in the doing
You filled the fridge, did the laundry
When work was hard, and harder still was sleeping
When love notes were left
Just as life was bereft of good feelings
“I love you” was said when you stroked my head
To reduce the fever, quell the stomach
And loosen the demons that lurked beneath my bed
You stayed until they’d gone
And never said I needed to move on
Till I was ready, Till I was ready
You said “I love you” in more ways than I can count
I lost track over the years
A steady stream, and as the love flowed
So too did my steadiness grow
Until I had amassed an oasis of loving dew
That I could spread among my clan
And know that in loving, I was ever closer
To the one who mattered most, it's you, it's you
Journal Prompts to Explore Your Love for Someone Special
Here are some journal prompts to explore the love you feel for someone else. Whether you express your feelings to them or not, write to them or not, this exploration can unlock wonderful, loving feelings that will enhance your life. Write or reflect on the following prompts:
My mother taught me how to love deeply, honestly, and with compassion. She taught me not to be afraid to express my love, even when I wasn’t sure if it would be returned. She reminded me that loving was my right, my natural affinity, and that loving would feel good to me. She was right.
I share my love with you, too, and I say: Let your love out, and know that I hope it leads you to someone special to share it with. Let others know you love them – That is the first lesson my mama taught me. 🌞
Podcast Music: My thanks to all the musicians who make incredible music and have the courage to put it out into the world. All music and sound effects for my podcast are sourced and licensed for use via Soundstripe.
Songs in this podcast episode: La Fin Du Blonde by Tony Sopiano; Some Kind of Wonderful by Nu Alkemi$t; Con Sazón by In This World
Resources:
When caregiving feels like prayer (NPR interview with writer Jason Reynolds): https://tinyurl.com/54p6repx
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Journaling Resources
Jill Hodge
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Jill Hodge
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