You Are Seen: Poetry & Reflection to Support Family Caregivers

🎧 Episode #61 You Are Seen: Poetry & Reflection to Support Family Caregivers

We can get so wrapped up in our caregiving tasks that we lose sight of what our caring means. There often isn't much time to reflect on how we are showing up for our loved one, neighbor, friend, or partner. We just do it, but there are times when we may come very close to tettering on the edge of caregiver burnout. That's a very painful place to be because we still want to take care of our loved one, but we may not have the internal resources (emotionally, physically, or spiritually).

I wrote this episode to remind caregivers that what they do matters deeply and that there are incredible benefits to giving the way they do to the people they take care of, and to the world at large.

💭Key Takeaways from this Episode:

• You are seen and your caring and compassion are valuable beyond the person you care for. I may not literally see you in action, but I've watched countless caregivers (aides, hospital workers, family members) provide loving care for someone else, and it is a beautiful thing that should be celebrated.
• We often talk about famous people who lead with compassion, but your caring also has a ripple effect that impacts your family, community and the world around you. Don't lose sight of that impact.
• Some of what you give comes back to you in the form of purpose, satisfaction, and gratitude. In difficult times, we must remember that our caring is usually tied to our love for that person. The grief we feel while helping an ill or dying person is often tempered by a deep sense of gratitude that they were in our lives.
• If we are caring for someone we have a difficult or complicated relationship with, we may feel more anger than grief. We may have to accept that tension, but can we be grateful for our own sense of duty, compassion, and even our physical strength? There can be a sense of pride that we can put uncomfortable feelings aside and still help someone who needs it.
• Caregivers are driven by purpose and take action (even when unsure, afraid, or angry) to help someone else. Making that decision to act gives the caregiver a solid, clear focus and agenda that will add meaning to their lives. 
• Caregivers are strong, resilient people who keep showing up, sometimes at great cost to themselves. Your physical, mental, or psychological energy may be sapped, but you keep going.

Ode to an Overwrought Caregiver

By Jill Hodge

Hear ye, hear ye!
Oh, overwrought caregiver, you are not made of iron and steel
Not wrought out, yet pounded still
By the mallet of circumstance, crushed by the wheel
And yet you show up again, an ironclad will

Would that you could see all the beauty in you that I behold.

At the end of a long day, made longer still
By the hospital bells and whistles
The monitor shrieks and shrills
And thistles and thorns bleakly remake
The days unfolding as they will

Would that you could see all the beauty in you that I behold.

You lose control, feels like ballistic missiles
Released in the air, all crashing down
Heavy shards with pointy edges, like crystals
You dodge them as best you can, collect them for your crown

Would that you could see that you are in fact a queen.

Holding back tears, there’s no corner of privacy
No time to think things through
You’re part of the other side of life, mortal travesty
Your love all tied up, choking, the turn of the screw

Would that you could see that you are in fact a queen.

And if by chance, for chance rules all the land
Your love is spared and you rejoice in rightly things
You’ll soon forget your tireless, grieving hands
That toiled, sweat and kneaded, the magic that it brings

Would that you could see all the beauty in you that I behold.

Until you are reminded of your singular devotion
The way you stroke her head to ease the pain of passing
The way you rise up and take charge, refuse commotion
All while saying goodbye and still urgently clasping

Journal Prompts to Reflect on the Positive Impact of Your Caregiving

Here are some journal prompts to spark your reflection on the positive impact of your caregiving. Write or reflect on these questions:

Caregiving isn’t for the faint of heart. A friend said to me recently that caregiving was my superpower. If that's true, I'm in very good company with the rest of my tribe working out there in the world. I hope I've made you feel seen, appreciated, and admired for your caring.

I hope you remember to make time and space for your needs too; as difficult as that is, activities like listening to podcasts or music, journaling, walking in nature, meditation, art-making, or simply enjoying a good cup of coffee or tea will revive you during hard times. As always, I hope some of those mindful moments take you to that happy place that I call the bright side of the beat.🌞

Podcast Music: My thanks to all the musicians who make incredible music and have the courage to put it out into the world. All music and sound effects for my podcast are sourced and licensed for use via Soundstripe.

Songs in this podcast episode: Some Kind of Wonderful by Nu Alkemi$t; Con Sazón by In This World

Related Episodes:

Caregiver Burnout & Crisis: Care for the Carer (Episode #49)

Finding Balance in Struggle: Exploring Yin and Yang in Daily Life (Episode #41)

Embracing Uncertainty: Feeling Faithful & Taking Action (Episode #30)

Finding Balance: Caregiver Self-Care (Episode #27)

Dealing with Dementia (Caregiver Tips & Journal Prompts) (Episode #13)

Check out the resources on this website (and subscribe) to get podcast episodes, poems, articles, music playlists, and journal prompts delivered to your inbox.

Then, connect with me on Instagram. Let me know you hear me out there!

Journaling Resources

30-Day Journal Challenge (Writing Prompts to Get Started)

Here’s a fun & simple 30-day journal challenge for beginners (or those who need inspiration). Use the daily prompts to rediscover yourself.

Let the Verse FlowJill Hodge

Journaling 101: An Inspirational Guide to Start (or Revive) a Practice

Whether you write, doodle, draw, or keep memorable quotes, journaling uncovers YOU. Let your unconscious mind speak, download my free guide.

Let the Verse FlowJill Hodge

Let the Verse Flow (and its companion newsletter Flow & Voice) is a creative project created with love by writer, podcast host, and narrator Jill Hodge. If you subscribe today, you'll have full access to the website and newsletter, including articles, podcast episodes, and the Flow & Voice monthly note. Members are vital to building a rich community of diverse voices. Join us by subscribing today; consider a paid subscription to support Jill's work. Thank you!